For the last four weeks I have mostly disappeared and found it hard to write this down until the numbness subsided.
You can forget how precious, fleeting this life is , that it is only as brief as a bead of dew rolling across a leaf, or the brief flash of a firefly at night and then, it’s gone, you don’t think much on it until, boom, like a bolt of lightning out of a dark night, you are struck. My little Milo , a little bundle of light and smiles is suddenly rushed into hospital. A boy who loves to dance like a ballerina on the tip of a wave, is now fighting for his life against a sinister and poisonous condition called septicemia which quickly set to ambushing his heart, lungs and kidneys.making his body swell up like a prop forward whilst inflaming his skin.
When you see your 3 year olds life ebb away like a tide’s retreat and your running on empty , powerless to help, with Doctors, Consultants like wizards , trying their hardest but scratching their heads as to the mystery of Milo’s demise, you wonder what your reaction will be..I was angry and numb, but somehow kindling deep inside the dark recesses of my soul was a weak flickering flame of hope that the Father Heart of God was going to do something beautiful here. The prayers, candles lit, texts,emails and thoughts of my family and friends both near and far were like a constellation of stars shining on my dark night.
And then one morning Milo opens his eyes and looks at me and smiles like a thousand vows of the sunrise, I will say now that I have never seen anyone shine as bright as my boy did at that moment.
I don’t know where he went to behind those fragile flickering eyelids.It was if he went into the darkness with a dance, danced with wolves in the belly of a whale and has come out dancing with Angels.It’s his new day and it’s his new dance.
Milo has always danced to a music that only he can hear, like a lost symphony unearthed that was written just for him..his dances always seemed to highlight his love of life no matter the situation like after a grazed knee had been kissed or the bandage taken off, or the next branch in the tall tree overcome, or his heart started to hum and drum or or the jump that followed the tumble, rarely did Milo need an excuse or reason to kick of his shoes and dance..
And now , each day we dance, dance without reason or care,dance because we can, because we have another chance, because we have breath in our bodies, milo more than others as he still has not stopped since he has come out of hospital.
Extract from The Dance by Barry Fitzgerald
The Shiver of the tall grass in da light of a new moon,
The rhythm of a heartbeat, from a baby, in a womb,
The surprise of love, when eyes meet across a room,
The Voltage of a Flower as it pushes through cracked snow,
The meeting of hearts before you’ve said hello,
Yea , Thats how I feel, It’s a new Dawn, It’s a new Day, It’s a new dance,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Its another chance,,,,, thats how I feel,,,,,,,
The Flight of a thousand butterfly wings,,,, Just for you!
The calm after the storm, the breakthrough,,,
The ripple of morning across a petal covered in dew,
The precious moment of time as it falls through eternity,
The son of God when he walks in on you unexpectedly,
The taste of passion trapped in the fruit of a tear,
The mystery of life whispered in your ear…..
Thats how I feel, It’s a new Dawn, It’s a new Day, It’s a new dance,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Its another chance,,,,, thats how I feel,,,,,,,
The heart that misses a beat, the kiss of life that takes your breath away,
The shock of light,
Like the exact moment night becomes day,,,,,
Thats how I feel, It’s a new Dawn, It’s a new Day, It’s a new dance,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Its another chance,,,,, thats how I feel,,,,,,,
Beautiful poem and your recount of Milo’s experience brought a tear to my eye. Thank you for such lyrical prose . Look forward to reading more .
Thanks Jennifer, I’m glad you like it. I had been finding it hard to write anything else until I got this one down on paper :0)
God is a God of second chances Barry, and He loves to heal, especially littlechildren. Hospitals are hard places to be in, im so glad Milo has escaped out to resume his dance of Life. Happy Christmas.
Thank you for posting this. All praise to God and His comfort and blessings be on you and Milo and all you love and hold dear.
Thank you , I think it fair to say that his blessings are upon us :0)
Wow! Dance till your heart fills with the joy that comes from the dance. Your son is blessed with a gift to be able to hear the music in the silence. It is my favorite music I must say. Having read your prose I would have to say you too can hear it, but he lives it out in movement. Encourage that all of his life. Don’t let the veil come down on his dance as that is where creativity lives. Learn to dance with him everyday and you will grow so close to him and soon it will by your music too. Dance has a way of transforming our hearts and our souls just like the poetry you write that goes beyond the conscious to the subconscious.
You have a beautiful blog and I must say it is one of the first blogs done on a black background that I like. Most are hard to read. The pictures of yourself on the home page are awesome and dramatic. They draw you in. I have liked your blog so that I come back when I have more time to read (I have sworn I would get to bed before the am.) I am hoping to find poems from your homeland. Do you write music too?
Peace and Love Sj
Watching him grow is like watching poetry in motion, so beautiful and brave.i would not miss It for the world. That silence you mention to us, is a crescendo that is worth being still for and holding onto as long as you can before the next wave of music carries you away..thanks for your kind words and glad you like the images, they were fun to do :0) p.s with regards music, I do a little but I prefer to let the maestro’s of God given talent create the musical sound…
He’s so cute… Kids are the best… even my DeafBlind little one dances… but to no music we can hear… I know that fear…
Somehow we are moved to dance by those such as your son and my boy who despite the fear follow the music of life itself..
He is so beautiful – this brought a tear to my eye 😦 I almost lost my son at 2/12 from a hideous staph infection. That was 28 years ago and I have cherished every day he has been with me since 😉
Moments like that tend to give us perspective and open your eyes to what is most important in life.I bet every day of those 28 years were seen and lived with a much better perspective on life..thanks fir liking my blog :0)